Gullies, Girls, and Growing Up

Gullies, Girls, and Growing Up

This quaint little town along the mighty river introduced me to a hopeful place, standing in freedom on the other side of that river bank. This taste of freedom was fed by my morning routine of walking to and from my school. This was a relatively new experience for me, basically just entering grade school and feeling very grown up in the process. My journey to this school, perched at the top of a hill took me along a road that had a deep gully to one side. It may have served as a beautiful piece of scenery at one point in its past but the steepness of the banks and the amount of rainfall this area received left it an eroded, muddy wasteland of sorts. I felt as though it would be watching me with its sinister eyes as I walked by, waiting for me to fall down the constantly shifting bank into the depths below. It scared me that if I were to do so, nobody would even know I was gone.

Given my constant state of living out of boxes somewhere I had adjusted to the challenges that this would bring socially for a developing little person. Very early on I made the decision to intensify my relationships because I would have no assurance that I would have any length of substantial time in order to properly invest in a mutually rewarding relationship. Such a focused approach to relationships meant that I got married not to the girl I loved in grade 4 while I was in grade 4. The girl I loved was also in grade 4 but it was complicated. What can I say?

However, that was later on and this was now, in the early stages of trying out my new approach to relationship building. My strategy at this younger age involved chasing girls around the school yard in an attempt to kiss them. It was called the kissing game. There was also the classic yanking of the pony tails as another way of speeding things up by communicating how much I liked the girl by the frequency of the pony tail yank.

This was one benefit of frequently moving. I would take extensive notes on what went wrong and quite often would find myself becoming quite thankful as I looked out the back window of our vehicle noting that I lucked out having to leave all of those issues and problems that I had created, and now have a clean slate in the next town up the highway. This process helped me refine my relationship methods and although the intensity remained I stopped yanking pony tails and running around trying to kiss girls.

As I typed that last sentence I realized how idiotic that was. Of course I would have stopped doing those things as I was getting older and such things naturally faded away. And so, another aspect of my childhood is blown up. What did I learn about relationships through my frequent moving around? Apparently, not a hell of a lot. I am still intense come to think of it and my tendency to want to leave town when I have really fucked things up remains. That is the problem with life lessons I think, sometimes instead of learning the lesson we pack up and leave the lesson to be learned by someone else.


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